Confessions of a Deranged Writer

Photo courtesy of irkengirdib
@ morguefile.com

Okay, admit it. I'm not the only writer that title suits. he he

For those of you who know me, you can admit how weird and more than a little crazy I tend to be. It's okay. I've often thought the same thing myself ABOUT myself.

For those of you who don't know me, hang around. Get to know me. I'm sure you'll soon agree with those who've known me for years.

As I tell people - "My brain is a scary place to live." ;-)

Which brings us to - confession time.

Confession #1 - I am a "pantser". Some prefer to call writers such as myself "intuitive" or "organic" because they aren't too keen on the "pantser" title. Call it whatever you will, I don't particularly care. None of the titles bother me in the least. For me, the title is one of those "A rose by any other name" situations. The title doesn't change how I work. I write by the seat of my pants, totally on the fly and with very little preparation beforehand.

I have no use for outlining prior to starting a project. I find the very act stifling to my creativity. I know "plotters" thrive on having a properly developed and fleshed out outline (though how developed and fleshed out seems to vary greatly from one writer to the next). More power to them, and I'll cheer for them and offer encouragement as they work on their outlines. It just ain't for me. I'd rather have a root canal than try to write that way again, and I'm only being partially facetious. Yeah, I hated it that bad.

As far as a synopsis? Yep. Familiar with those. That's the summary you write AFTER the book is written. (I can hear some "plotters" disagreeing with that statement. he he)

Oh, and just for the record - me and summaries? Not the best of friends. Summarizing an entire book in a single page doesn't come easy to me. So I'm still working on wrapping my head around that process.

Confession #2 - As a result of Confession #1, I rarely know how a story will end before I reach that final chapter. In fact, I rarely know what will happen in chapter 2 while I'm writing chapter 1. I find out when I get there, and it's not unusual for me to start writing a chapter, thinking it's going to go one way only to have it suddenly shift and go a completely unexpected direction (usually related to Confession #5).

Confession #3 - I research as I write. Research before I start a fiction project is rather pointless from my point of view, not to mention generally a waste of time. I don't know what exact details I'll need until I write that story. In the past, I've been a good little writer (at least in some people's opinion) and done an inordinate amount of research before I started a project, only to get a short way into the project and realize I needed details my previous research didn't provide. Which meant, of course, more research. So I research on the fly and seek the details I actually need at the time I need them. Works out beautifully and saves me countless hours researching information I end up not needing.

Confession #4 - The one thing I know when I start writing is my characters, and I continue to learn more about them as I write. I let them drive the story, and sometimes they take me on an incredibly wild, exciting ride. Who needs roller-coasters or other nausea-inducing adrenaline pumpers? All I need is a good cast of characters and ideas for a few situations to throw at them to keep their lives interesting. They do the rest.

Confession #5 - I sometimes argue with my characters. Yes, I know how that sounds. But when I want them to do one thing and they balk and want to do something else, we argue. They usually win. The last time that happened, I argued with my heroine for a full 2 hours. She won. Nothing more humbling than losing an argument with a fictional character. he he

Confession #6 - I lose sleep over the life of fictional characters. Seriously! It is common (and in fact, frequently occurs) that I go to bed exhausted, thinking my muse has gotten impatient with my late night writing and gone to bed without me, only to have a scene suddenly start running through my head the moment it hits the pillow. grrrr So I have to get up, power up the laptop or grab a pen and paper, and write that scene. I've done upwards of 1K in a half hour or so in the middle of the night, knowing if I don't get up and do it then, it'll have eluded me by morning.

Confession #7 - I LOVE NaNoWriMo! The challenge of meeting that one-month deadline in writing 50K spurs me to push myself, stretch those writing and thinking mental muscles, and I get to interact with other writers around the world and find out I'm not really so weird after all. What's not to like? I know there are those out there who would poo-poo and even flat out devalue and denigrate NaNoWriMo, but I ignore them. Just because they see no value in NaNoWriMo for them personally doesn't mean there's no value in it for others. For some of us, tremendous value in fact. The enjoyment of interacting with other writers alone is worth having! Throw in the writing itself, and WOOHOO!

For the same reason, I enjoy ACFW's Novel Tracks (Writing and Editing). Though I set my own goals for those, setting a goal spurs me to work harder than I would otherwise. And in the process, I get to interact with other Christian authors.

So, do I feel bad about any of these? Not on your life. My way of writing may not work for others, but it works great for me.

So be you "pantser", "plotter" or something in between, what confessions do you have to make? Have you figured out where you fit on that spectrum yet? If not, what are you doing to figure out what kind of writer you are and how best you work?

Writing Lessons of 2012 - Pt 2

Photo courtesy of Jade on morguefile.com

Last time, I shared what I've been up to over the course of about the last year as far as writing and editing. So what has all this writing, editing and tracking madness taught me, you may wonder. Well, here it is in a nutshell:

1 - I'm capable of far more than I ever dreamed possible. I've spent years selling myself short, doubting myself and my abilities. The Lord has used the last year to show me He's gifted me far above what I ever imagined. But, I have to choose to utilize those gifts. He won't make me do it. But you know what? I'm much happier, content and at peace when I go with His flow instead of my own.

2 - Stretching is a good thing, regardless of the outcome. Being stretched isn't all that comfortable, particularly when we aren't sure about the outcome. Will we succeed? Or will we fail? If you're anything like me, going into something without knowing you can have victory over it can be a very scary thing. But if we don't try, and risk failure in the process, we go nowhere. If we stretch and fail, did we make progress? I bet we did, and we probably learned some stuff in the process. So stretch for that goal even if it feels just out of reach.

3 - I need to be kinder to myself. I tend to set way more reasonable goals for others than I do for myself. In fact, the goals I've often set for myself weren't just unreasonable, they were often unattainable. Funny contradiction to what I wrote above, isn't it? Not really. At least, those of you who are perfectionists probably recognize the dichotomy of ideas there. (See my posting about Flylady and writing if you're curious about more on this.) It's okay to set a goal and give myself permission to not meet it. If I don't make my writing or editing goal for any given month, the world won't end.

Come to think of it, if the world does end because I don't make my goal, YAY!!! I'd certainly trade this life for eternity with the Lord. Wouldn't you?

4 - I put this last, but it's hardly the least important. In fact, it's a doozy.

I work best if I work WITH my body and brain instead of against it. Not exactly a startling revelation, I know. But maybe not as obvious as you would expect. Sure, I have to make sure I get up and move around when I write a lot, or my back and shoulders get REALLY unhappy about too many hours in front of the computer. And I have to make sure I don't get so involved with my writing that I forget to eat, go the bathroom, get things to drink, etc. You know. All those mundane things life requires. But I'm talking about more than that.

With all the writing I've done in the last year as a result of ACFW's Novel Track, NaNoWriMo and Camp NaNoWriMo, I've noticed definite patterns and trends to the way I work. Not just to writing or editing, but when I do best with both. I have struggled with Seasonal Affective Disorder (aka S.A.D.) for a good portion of my life. (Contrary to popular belief, yes, you can struggle with this even in sunny Arizona, depending on the severity of the case. I don't even want to think about living with it in less sunny climates. It's bad enough as it is in Arizona, thank you very much.) As a result, I've spent many years dreading the onset of winter with the shorter days of sunlight. As I tell people, "Winter and I are not friends."

But I think this winter will be different because the last year has taught me something valuable. I do my best, and most productive, writing during the winter months. Who knew!?!? I've realized with all the tracking I've done this past year that my creativity flows much stronger and clearer during the winter. Summer? Bah! Oh, I can write during the summer, as proved by two successful Camp NaNo adventures. But it's not the same. In winter, the ideas flow fast, easy and feel like a flood at times like opening a faucet fully. In summer, it more resembles pulling teeth. With a spoon and no anesthesia. June, I struggled. July, I took a break (sort of anyway). August, I struggled.

Here's the interesting thing. Only writing is a struggle in summer. Editing is no problem. The opposite is true in winter. Editing in winter feels like trudging through half-frozen mud.

Which brings me back around to the S.A.D.

S.A.D. affects brain function and the brain's use of neurotransmitters and such. It's not there just in winter, as is commonly believed. It's there all year-round, affecting different parts of the brain at different times of the year. My brain shifts gears with changes in the seasons. When it does so, things that are easy part of the year became hard in another part. So writing in winter? Easy. Writing in summer? Hard. Editing in winter? Hard. Editing in summer? Easy. I'm not saying it doesn't require work when something is "easy". Anyone who has ever written knows even when the ideas really flow, it's work. But it's nowhere near as difficult to get it done when they're flowing as it is when you have to drag them out the rooms of your mind kicking and screaming.

This is what the last year has taught me, above and beyond everything else. My brain is hard-wired a certain way. And I need to learn to go with the flow, work WITH the cycles of my body instead of against it. God created me this way. Though at times I'm baffled by this and wonder what He was thinking, He knows best. I just have to accept it and learn to roll with it.

So what have I learned this year? To recognize the gifted woman God has made me to be and appreciate His wisdom in making me the way He has, even if it doesn't make much sense to me at times. To be more patient with myself when I'm unable to make goals or meet my own expectations (particularly if they're unreasonable), but to keep setting goals and stretching for them, even if the outcome isn't what I hoped for.

But more than all of that, for the first time in my life, I'm looking forward to winter. I can hardly wait to see what this coming winter holds as far as writing.

Another photo courtesy of Jade on morguefile.com

So what about you? What have you learned about yourself this past year?

Writing Lessons of 2012 - Pt 1

Photo courtesy of Jade on morguefile.com

That heading makes this sound like I'm going to talk about all the "rules" of writing I've learned about (many of which I've learned to take with a grain of salt), but nope. I've learned some much more valuable lessons in the last year than the "rules" of writing.

First, I'll start with some background. This week and next week, I'll share what all of it has taught me.

It actually started in November 2010. Yes, I said 2010. Two years ago. I found out about the madness of NaNoWriMo. For those of you who don't know about this writing "competition", check it out. It'll either make you nuts or spur you onward in ways you never imagined. Being a WriMo writing a NaNovel is an entirely new adventure, and the forums provide some incredible encouragement, support and contact with other WriMos. But I digress.

I unofficially joined the madness of NaNoWriMo for November 2010. I say "unofficially" because I didn't bother to sign up and actually track my daily counts on the site. I kept track of it unofficially on my own computer. I doubted I'd be able to meet the 50K goal, but I made it with 1K to spare. Imagine my shock. I could actually do it!

So I officially joined the site and eagerly waited for November 2011 to roll around. I had no idea what I would write for the event, but I knew I could do it, and I wanted to participate. As November 1st drew closer, I realized two things:

(1) I knew what I wanted to write. The story had been in my head for a couple of years, and it was time to write it.

(2) My parents were coming for a visit over Thanksgiving, so I'd have to be very careful to meet my daily goals or I'd likely fall behind and not make goal. As a result, I determined to meet my 50K goal, if at all possible, before their arrival the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

I wrote over 75K that month. Started AND finished that book! I had no idea I could do that.... My brain resembled mush at the end of the month, but it was so worth it.

Then came December. I joined ACFW at the recommendation of a couple of writer friends (thank you, Carol and Janice!). And I discovered Novel Track. Not only did they have a Writing track that happened on a regular basis, they had an Editing track as well. For those, you set your own goals rather than have it set for you like with NaNoWriMo.  (# of words written for NTW. # of pages edited for NTE.) Since I knew what I was capable of writing, I jumped in starting that first week of January, and with the exception of July, I've participated in one of those tracks every month this year.

In January, I wrote an entire novel PLUS a novella (~40K), and worked on another project besides. My most productive month ever. In the months to follow, I finished some incomplete projects.

Then came June - Camp NaNoWriMo - related to NaNoWriMo but set up differently. Instead of November's free-for-all, I found myself sharing a virtual cabin with 5 other writers. I was able to keep 2 of those cabinmates for August's Camp as well. Again, 50K goal for the month. I started a new series in June and continued it in August. I began with the intention of a 4-book series. But an idea for book #5 hit me yesterday morning. So 5 it is. I made goal both months. By-passed it actually.

August is winding down. September is just around the corner. I plan to use September and October to edit a couple of those completed projects, assuming plans don't get changed, as sometimes happens.

November rapidly approaches as well, with another NaNoWriMo. I already know what I'm writing for that month.

So what has all this writing, editing and tracking madness taught me? Tune in next time for the answer to that question.