Saturday, February 1, 2014

Progress!

For the last while I've struggled. To find hope and joy in life. To let go of the past. To heal. Those of you who follow my blog probably read the post I did back in November - "Through the Valley". Things take time to work through and process. I've prayed for the Lord to guide and help me through it. He's been here every step of the way.

Photo by author - Southern White Rhinoceros
To help me through, and to give me some much needed time alone with the Lord, I made a trip a couple of weeks ago to the Reid Park Zoo in Tucson. Getting away from distractions, walking, taking photographs, thinking, and praying always works well for me. It helps me regain solid ground and find some measure of peace. The zoo helped, as it generally does. But I wasn't there yet.

Photo by author
Last week, I accepted a photography challenge from MorgueFile, which meant hiking downtown to take photos. More distraction-free time for thinking and praying. Unexpected to be sure, but nonetheless appreciated. My legs are killing me from hiking those hills, but it was worth it.

This past Sunday, during worship service at church, something shifted inside me that I can't really describe. I know, that's amusing, an author at a loss for words. Well, I'm not completely.  Heaven forbid!  he he

In the middle of praise music that had me trying to hold back tears, thoughts, images, and Bible verses started darting through my head. I sat down and wrote them down, not worrying about whether they made sense or formed a cohesive line of thought. It was a challenge for my hand to keep up with it all.

I finally got it put into a cohesive form this morning (Tuesday). I feel I'm supposed to share it for any others who might be going through similar struggles.

THE IMAGE IS CLEAR
Dawn M. Turner
28 January 2014

In my mind’s eye, I see myself.
Smoke and haze hover over a battlefield,
eerily quiet and still, blocking out light.
A warrior lies there, broken and bleeding,
cut down by poisoned swipes of the swords of allies,
groaning in pain and grief over trust shattered,
opportunities rejected by those who should know better.

Light pierces the darkness.
Little more than a candle’s feeble glow
becomes the gleam of the sun across the land,
bringing comfort and assurance.
Justice will come.
Evil will be recompensed.
None shall escape.
The time for grief has ended.
The time of healing has begun.

I have been struck down, beaten and bloody,
but I am far from destroyed.
He has preserved me.
The Lord reaches down with a loving, faithful hand
to bind my wounds and heal my broken heart.
The warrior rises, not yet fit for a new battle,
but standing as the smoke and haze clears.

I seek to serve the Lord who delights in me.
Prepare me, dear Lord, to raise my sword again,
to fight for Your kingdom.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours,
and lift it up in praises to You.
Strengthen me, Lord, for the battles yet to come.

I stand for You, clinging to one certainty.
This life is transient; it withers and fades.
This pain will pass away and be no more.
The end is written.
You have already ensured victory.
In case you want to know what the Bible verses were, here's the list in nothing even resembling a logical order: Job 1:21; 2 Sam. 22:2-3, 20b; Ps. 40:11, 17; Rev. 5:8b, 21:4; Isa. 65:17; Ps. 147:3; 2 Cor. 4:8-9; Matt. 5:4; Ecc. 3:4; Gal. 5:15; Isa. 40:7-8; Zeph. 3:17; Ps. 18:19b.

God is good. All the time.