Life Interrupted

Photo courtesy of Melodi2 at morguefile.com

It seems like, just when life is on a smooth track and you can get so much done, it suddenly gets interrupted by things beyond your control. At least, that's how I feel lately.

The full heat of the Arizona summer is upon us, so working outdoors is out of question. Even working inside can be hard as the room we're currently hitting has no heat or cooling. Ugh. So work on our house has slowed to a crawl. At least it's still easing forward, even if very slowly.

I've been too distracted to write lately. Through the first week of June, I haven't had much success sitting down to edit either. Even as I'm preparing for the release of my third book, I can't seem to maintain my momentum. I'm spending a lot of time in prayer and contemplation instead, as well as seeking the stillness of mind that comes with crocheting (working on a couple of large projects). Sometimes I escape into old TV show re-runs on Netflix, something I can do while crocheting.

With many of life's difficulties, I find writing to be a good escape, or therapy to work through the emotional struggles that come with so many situations. But this time, one of my aunts lies dying in hospice from metastatic cancer. I've waited to receive the call any moment of each day for the last several days to tell me that she's gone. Still I wait, and she continues to slip away in painful fashion.

None of this is unexpected, but that doesn't make the reality any less difficult in some ways. I pray for the Lord to show mercy and take her quickly to end the suffering. I pray for her children and grandchildren to be ready in their hearts for her inevitable death. Some of them are believers, some aren't. I pray for my grandmother as she watches one of her children die. She's already lost two children, as well as a grandchild. Now she's losing a third. It's taken a toll.

In the last few days, I've also dealt with the loss of a beloved pet. Salt in an already raw wound of sorrow.

Life gets interrupted. By life. It really is that simple. I take comfort in knowing none of it catches God by surprise, even on the occasions it totally blindsides us. He saw it all coming. He knew the pain I and others would feel. He prepared our hearts to reach this moment in time. I wrap myself in the knowledge that He promises comfort to those who mourn (Matt. 5:4), so there's no shame in grieving the losses that come with life in a fallen, sinful world.

And as always, life will go on. Time doesn't stop under the weight of loss. It marches step-by-step ever forward. And thus it will do until God brings an end to this world and all its sufferings. Times like now, I crave that time. No more illness. No more death. No more sorrow.

And He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there shall no longer be any death; here shall no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away. - Rev. 21:4

But that time is not here yet. So I keep moving forward with life, walking the path God has laid before me (or at least trying to), performing the tasks He has for me, giving thanks for His loving, faithful presence through all of life's difficulties.

Lord, help me hold to the narrow way and perform the tasks You've assigned to me. Help me hold true to You, no matter what. Amen.

Home

Photo courtesy of
taliesin of morguefile.com

For me, "home" isn't necessarily about a location, though it's nice to have roots. Home is the people. Maybe this is a result of the fact we moved so much when I was a kid. My family was the only stable thing in my life during those years. No matter where I was or for how long or short a time, my family was there.

For my novel Promises, releasing this month, the main character is seeking a place to which she can belong, though she doesn't really know what that's supposed to look like. Having lost her parents at a young age, then spending years bounced around in foster care, adopted by a wonderful man then losing him too soon, Terry has had a lot of upheaval in her life. No roots. No peace. No security for more than a moment in time. Not allowing herself to get too close to people.

And when she did have a place to belong with people who loved her, she didn't recognize it as home and left it behind. At the deepest root of her discontent is the lack of a relationship with the Lord who created her. She walked away from Him in her teens, believing He had abandoned her just when she needed Him most. That affects the relationships she has with others.

In so many ways, Terry's search for "home" is rather reminiscent of how we all are. How often do we seek something, only to not recognize it when it comes our way because it doesn't necessarily look or feel the way we expect it to? So we abandon or reject it and move on, continuing on lost and discontent. How often is that thing we truly need the God who loves us and can make us whole? Thankfully, we're often brought full-circle back to what we overlooked. We can only hope we recognize it the second time around.

For a chance to win a copy of my new novel, Promises , leave a comment sharing what the word "home" means to you. Be sure to include a current e-mail address in case you win! The winner will have the choice of either an e-book (of whatever format you'd like from Smashwords) or an autographed paperback copy (either standard or large print). Entries will be accepted until my next blog post at 8:00 am Arizona time, Saturday, February 23, 2013. Entries will be numbered and the winner chosen by Random.org.

If you'd like a chance to win other great prizes from some of my fellow writers, check out the links below for the Candle Light Reads "Home Is Where The Heart Is Hop"! This contest runs from the 15th-18th.