God's Detour, Part 3 - The Ramifications

Photo courtesy of "Clarita" of morguefile.com

"For Thou are my rock and my fortress; for Thy name's sake Thou wilt lead me and guide me." - Psalm 31:4

My last 2 posts have been about a grand epiphany I had that's changed my heart and thinking, plus the immediate returns that have manifested. Today, I want to explain what this means for you, dear readers.

The short of it, I'm on sabbatical from writing for an unknown period of time, until the circumstances of my life change. Unless time, focus, and inspiration allow, all currently unfinished books are on hold.

I will continue to edit and publish stories that are already written, plus I hope to revise a couple of previously released books (Beyond Hope and Curse of the Talmara). Both were published before I had my current edit help, and they reflect that. I've wanted for years now to bring both up to snuff, but I've lacked the time due to so much writing going on. God's provided the perfect opportunity for me to take care of that.

This break could be a month, 6 months, a year, ... I simply don't know yet. I miss writing, and I really want to be back at it, but I desire MOST to be in step with God and His will in my life.

In all likelihood, you won't really notice any of this, since I have completed novels to edit and publish in the interim and there probably won't be any gaps in new books being put out. With one notable exception. The Christmas novella due out right now is not complete, and it appears it won't be finished this year. Maybe it'll be ready for Christmas 2019. Hopefully.

2016 in Review

Photo by "Nelos" of Adobe Stock

What a year! Hopefully not one I'll ever have to repeat. We moved, worked on remodels for 2 houses (one of those continues), battled illness in the spring, and a couple of serious injuries that took me out of commission and hampered brain function (thank you, pain and exhaustion!).

Each January, I've been reporting on my goals and progress for the previous year and setting my goals for the new year. Despite all that's been going on, I made most of my goals for 2016, so I'm calling the year a SUCCESS.

My goals for 2016 were:

Write 400,000 words
Publish 5 paperback books
Complete 3 old projects (stories started prior to Jan. 1, 2016)

How'd I do?

I wrote 335,011 words. Almost 65K short of my 400K goal, to be sure, but I'll take it! Considering all the things that hampered writing this year, I see it as nothing short of a miracle that I got so much done. By the time October rolled around, I had fully expected to have MAYBE 200-250K written for the year, so I'm very happy with what I accomplished.

I published 5 paperback books and 19 e-books. I started the year publishing Destiny (medieval fantasy short novel) and ended with Protective Instincts (romantic urban fantasy long novel).

I completed 3 old projects, which met that goal. On top of that, I wrote 12 entirely new ones from start to finish. Those included 6 short stories (up to 13K each), 4 novelettes (13-18K), a novella (20-40K), and a short novel (41-60K). I also started 3 stories that I haven't yet completed. In addition to completed and/or started projects, I made significant additions (5K+) to 2 novels and minor additions (less than 5K) to 2 novels.

See what I mean? Productive. I'm grateful for every milestone reached and even the goal that wasn't.

Of course, finishing up 2016 means setting goals for 2017 as well. I decided to reset my goals for 2016. So for 2017, my goals are:

Write 400K words
Publish 5 paperback books
Complete 3 old projects (stories started prior to today, Jan. 1, 2017)

Happy New Year!

2016 Update

This year has been crazy. We continued work on the new house in January, moved in February, and have continued work on the old house ever since. That's still ongoing.

On top of that, I dealt with an illness in early April that knocked me out of commission for a few days in addition to a back injury that took a serious toll through late February, March, and into April. My old chiropractor switched to using bleach products in the office - something I'm highly allergic to, both contact and fumes. That meant finding a new one. I thought I'd found one, only for him to make matters worse (and tick off my husband by treating me like I was stupid). Took a couple of weeks to find another new one. Thankfully, she's reversed the damage the other chiropractor did AND taken care of the original issue.

I'm sort of on track to meet my writing and publishing goals for this year. As a reminder, my goals for 2016:

• 400,000 new words written
• publish 5 paperbacks
• complete 3 old projects

To date, I've accomplished:

• 80,253 new words written
• 1 paperback published
• 12 short story e-books published and counting (9 are live; 3 on pre-order status for release in May & June; more coming this summer - will be compiled & published in p-back when series complete)
• 1 old project completed
• 1 new project written start-to-finish

Not where I need to be to meet my writing goal, but I'm not worried at this point. Given a couple of really good writing months, I can easily make up the difference.

I have 3 paperbacks approaching publication, with a fourth due out toward the end of the year. If those publish as expected, I'll have 5 out by the end of the year.

For old projects, I need to finish 2 more. I started working on one before Camp NaNoWriMo started on April 1st, but put it aside to do Camp. I hope to get back to it later this year.

May is shaping up to be a busy month in my personal life, but I hope to get a good chunk of writing done despite that. June should be a little less busy. July is the next Camp NaNo, and there are some big changes coming that month. I don't know what August through December will hold yet, but there are still unresolved things hanging out there, so they could be quiet or nuts. Only time will tell.

I'm still moving forward. Slower than I hoped, but it's still progress, so I'm content.

2015 Review

Image from Dollar Photo Club

Finally have a few minutes to breathe, so I can tally and report on my final numbers for 2015. I didn't even come close to meeting my word writing goal. That said, when I looked at what I DID accomplish, I don’t feel bad about it. Here’s all that got done in 2015:

Word Count Goal for 2015 – 500,000
Words Written for 2015 – 379,320 (375,772 of that in fiction, the rest in a NF book I worked on a bit) – for an average of 31,610 written per month; worst month was 3,583, best month 56,977 – I didn't get to write much in November, usually one of my highest months.

Publishing Goal for 2015 – 7 paperbacks
Published in 2015 – 9 paperbacks (3 long novels, 3 short novels, 2 short story collections, & a novelette), plus 3 short stories published in e-book that aren't yet in p-back – BEST PUBLISHING YEAR YET!

COMPLETION GOAL – FINISH 3 OLD PROJECTS
Completed in 2015 – 3 old projects finished – 2 short novels, 1 long novel

Other Details for 2015

Written start to finish – 1 long novel, 1 short story collection, 4 short stories, and 7 stories of a short story serial that isn't yet complete.

Plus, I created 38 memes, 9 paperback book covers, and 18 e-book covers, as well as making significant additions (over 5K words) to 2 old projects and minor additions (5K or less) to 4 others.

Needless to say, despite failing to meet my word count goal for the year, it was a good year all the way around in so many other ways. Given how the last 3 months of the year went, I don’t feel bad at all about the word count goal flop. I may not have gotten 500K, but I still got 379K more written than if I hadn't tried at all. Add in the number of projects published and all the other stuff, and WOOHOO!

Moving On…

This morning, I received feedback from my first reader for a completed short novel – so I need to find time to get to that, make any needed fixes, and get it published. That's the final book in a 4-book medieval fantasy series (the other 3 were pubbed in 2015). When I have time and adequate brain function, I'll package those 4 in a set as well. The cover for the set is already done and waiting.

Also, I've got a short story serial ready to start releasing once I can find the time to do the e-book formatting. Hoping I can get started on that this week.

I’m still making 3 trips a week an hour away to do work on the house we're trying to move to, while using my off days to keep up with the current home (laundry, dishes, sweeping/mopping floors, and all those other mundane tasks), plus resting so I don't cause another health flare up like I did on Christmas day that makes me utterly useless for anything but holding down furniture.

I've tried to write on many of my off days, but I can’t focus enough to get more than a handful of words down before I lose my train of thought and forget where I was going. Trying to be patient about that, which isn't easy since I've always driven myself pretty hard to meet my own expectations, no matter how unreasonable they were. I'm doing better on that score, but it still rankles from time to time that I have limitations. One of the ways I've found to deflect frustration is to use that down time to watch movies and work on visually creative projects instead of word-related ones. Beading and jewelry-making has come in handy more than I can express for keeping me from really getting aggravated with myself over the lack of word-related creativity. I still try to write a bit each day, but at least I'm not berating myself for not being able to do so when it flops. I just shift my focus from writing to visual creativity. At least I'm accomplishing SOMETHING constructive that way.

Anyway, in figuring out my goals for 2016, I kept all of the nutsiness in my life at present in mind. I’m not sure when we’ll finish the transition to the new house, but once that’s done, it’ll mean making trips to the old one to finish the work it needs so we can get it on the market. That won't be as draining as my current schedule, hopefully.

2016 is shaping up to be a year of upheaval from start to nearly finish, and I was tempted not to set any goals for the year and just do whatever I could whenever I could. If I do that, though, I may not get much of anything done, so…

Goals for 2016

400K new words
5 paperbacks published
3 old projects completed

That 400K may be pie-in-the-sky, all things considered, but I'll aim for it anyway.

Research - Do It Before or During the Writing?

Photo by author

I've proven to be a rebel in many areas of writing. At least, according to those who hold to all the "rules" and outright myths that permeate the publishing industry. One area that has become apparent is with regards to the research I do for stories. According to many, I do things backwards. I do very little to no research before I start writing a book and almost all of it while I'm writing.

Since I don't outline (*cringe*) my stories before writing, I have no idea what information I'll need until I need it about 99% of the time. I've tried it "their" way, and the mess was astronomical and the time wasted and lost highly discouraging. I forced myself to dig into research before I ever started writing. I ended up needing to research as I went and didn't use anything I had spent WEEKS researching beforehand. I won't make that mistake again. Consider that lesson well-learned.

A few months ago, I needed to flesh out the idea for Alpha: 1945 First Love. World War II Germany. It was suggested that I "read everything you can get your hands on about World War II." My eyes glazed over just thinking about trudging through all that dull material, and that's aside from one stark reality - do you have ANY idea how long it would take to read ALL the material I could get my hands on about WWII? Ugh, ugh, ugh. Also, do you have any idea how little of that material would actually end up being useful? A LOT of time wasted on research when I could've been writing.

That advice was based on the philosophy of starting "general" research first, then working your way to the specifics. I pretty much see that as taking a 12-gauge shotgun with bird shot to a fly that's 10-feet away for which you just need a well-aimed hit close-up with a fly-swat.

No. Just. No. Unequivocally no!

That's like suggesting someone read everything they can find on:

1. DOGS, when what they really want is information specifically about German shepherds used for herding in modern-day Germany.
2. The US, when what they really want is information specific to a particular three block area of Tucson, AZ in summer.

Think about it. Those examples are NOT an exaggeration when you consider the tremendous scope of WWII versus the information I actually needed for a short story set in Germany with specific circumstances.

Part of the reason I can research so quickly, on the fly while writing, and lose very little time (rather than spending weeks, months, or even YEARS like some writers) is that I go in reverse with my research. I start with the very specific and work my way outward, thereby only researching information that is relevant to MY STORY. I don't spend countless hours researching things I'll never use.

For my WWII research, how that looked was:

1. Information about US spies and saboteurs operating in Germany. (Not Japan or other places US troops were during that war, and not British or German spies and saboteurs.)
2. Instances of major German cities bombed by Allied forces toward the end of the war. (That ruled out 1941-1944 and narrowed it down to 1945.)

I ended up finding both very quickly with well-placed keywords in a search engine. Using those, I found my dates and setting. Then, I expanded research outward to include specific landmarks in Dresden, Germany and activities surrounding the bombing in February 1945. As I wrote the story, I looked at rationing in Germany during that time (rationing looked very different in 1945 than it did earlier in the war, so information about how rationing was in 1941-42 was NOT useful for 1945) and other such things pertinent to the daily life of those living in Dresden during that specific time frame. I found some great reference material, including photographs and first-person eyewitness accounts (WOOHOO!).

I got exactly what I needed for my short story without spending a LOT more time and energy researching information I'd never use.

I repeated that process to research for setting and such for the other historical short stories in the Alpha series. I'll take the same approach when I start work on the Enforcer series. I've long taken that approach when researching topics for my contemporary novels.

What this experience has taught me over the years is that, once again, the "experts" are only experts on what works for them. Just like outlining and doing character questionnaires and interviews, research before writing is a matter of individual style and creative process. Don't let anyone tell you the "right" way to do such things. Try different approaches. Keep what works. Discard what doesn't.

If you want to research as you write, do so!

If you'd rather just write your story than spend weeks or months outlining beforehand, do it!

If you find character questionnaires as mind-numbing and worthless as I do, blow them off!

Give yourself permission to let the story flow unimpeded by all those logic-based procedures.

If you're one of those who research topics to death before you ever pick up the pen or touch the keyboard, and outline every single scene and chapter of your book in the minutest detail before you write, and fill out one character questionnaire after another, knock yourself out. If that works for you, go for it. If any or all of that is NOT working for you, discard it, no matter what some "expert" says.

Enjoy the process. Don't let "experts" bog you down. They aren't you. They don't know you. They don't know how your creative process works, how your creative mind works. If you hang around writers long enough, you'll find that God has created us so incredibly unique and diverse. No technique or method works for all of us. Rather than shoving each other into one tight little box, embrace those differences.

Set yourself free to JUST WRITE! Have fun! In the process, give others permission to love their way, too.

Confessions of a Deranged Writer - Part Deux

Photo courtesy of "taliesin" of morguefile.com

Any of you who have followed my blog for a while probably caught my first posting by that title - Confessions of a Deranged Writer. If not, check it out before proceeding. Today's post is an extension/update on what I shared before. Go ahead. I'll wait.

....

All caught up? Good. Now, first to address my previous confessions:

#1 - I'm still a total, unapologetic pantser, and I don't care who doesn't like it. I no longer apologize for my disdain for plotting/outlining (the root canal principle still applies). I just do what I do and go with what works best for me and no longer worry about what other authors feel about it. I don't give a rat's patootie what someone calls it - pantsing, organic, intuitive, whatever. Changing the name doesn't change what I do.

#2 -  Still no clue where a story is going most of the time. That really weirds out some people, but they'll either get over it or get under it, as my mother says. Totally up to them which, and not my problem. I say "most of the time" because... well... see Confession #8 (yes, that one is new).

#3 - I still research on the fly. I tried it the other way because that's what we're "supposed" to do as writers, right? I spent DAYS doing research blind, not having a clue what I'd actually need. It bombed completely. I ended up having to research on the fly anyway, and those hours spent before the project ended up being wasted time. I didn't use any of that information because none of it fit the story.

#4 - Nothing's changed here. I still get to know characters as I write. Amazing what they reveal to me as we go. Letting my subconscious have control of the story truly is magnificent!

#5 - These days, I rarely argue with my characters. I've learned to trust that they know what they're doing. That's truly not as weird as it sounds. It's all about trusting my subconscious to know intuitively, instinctively where things are going and just going with the flow. If that's a new concept for you, check out Writing Into the Dark by Dean Wesley Smith.

#6 - I'm STILL losing sleep over the lives of fictional characters. I've pretty much accepted this is to be my life as long as I'm a writer. And, honestly? I'm okay with that.

#7 - I STILL LOVE NANOWRIMO! Camp NaNo, too! No matter what naysayers and poo-pooers say, I unabashedly love it. Why people find it necessary to denigrate and devalue something simply because it doesn't work for them, I'll never know. If it doesn't work for them, move on to something that does and leave the rest of us alone. "The world isn't all about you," is what I want to tell them. If you haven't checked out NaNo (which takes place every November) or Camp NaNo (two sessions each summer - this year April and July), check them out. See if they're a good fit for you. If not, that's okay, too. Find something that IS.

(I no longer belong to ACFW. I track numbers on my own though, just as I've done for years.)

Below are NEW confessions, things I've learned over the past couple of years.

CONFESSION #8 - That "most of the time" I mentioned in #2 pretty solidly applies, but.... You knew there was a "but" coming. I know you did. I've found I occasionally break out of chronological writing (start at prologue or chapter 1 and write to "the end") and fall into what is referred to as Puzzling. On occasion, scenes come to me that fit later in the book. I used to fight it and try to force myself to stay on task, which slowed me down. Now, I write them and then go back to where I was and keep working forward. I've got two projects currently on my WIP docket that are partially done and written that way. Both have completed scenes scattered throughout the book. I just have to bridge the gaps between them. Sometimes it slows me down; sometimes it doesn't. Depends on my creative flow. I just go with it and don't stress over it.

CONFESSION #9 - I'm pretty much a rebel. Not the criminal variety, though you might get some disagreement out of those authors who are legalistic about "rules". *G* I got tired of having "rules" shoved down my throat that actually hurt my writing, I finally rebelled. I even wrote a book about it to encourage others not to get DISCOURAGED when the same thing happens to them and leaves them feeling squashed and worthless. The "rules" of writing are really nothing more than guidelines that can be used or discarded at will when storytelling, as needed to produce the strongest story you can. My goal? Tell strong stories that reach a reader's heart. Being legalistic about "rules" hinders that instead of helping it.

CONFESSION #10 - I've thrown off the chains others have put on me, let go of the "rules" and myths that used to keep me beaten down. I follow a writing process that works great for me, regardless of what others say about it. I write what I want to write, regardless of whether it might be controversial or not, or whether some publisher thinks it'll sell or not. I indie-publish without apology and LOVE it! I have fun when I write. I love getting new books into the hands of readers and hearing their feedback about my characters, stories, and how it touches their lives.

CONFESSION #11 - I'm a sprint writer, not a marathoner. That means, I tend to write large amounts in shorter periods of time with breaks throughout. Sometimes that can mean writing 11K in one day and little or nothing the next (been there, done that), or it can mean that I do 2-5K each day for several days in a row before taking a break. I don't write 1-2K every single day all year round like some authors I know, and that's perfectly okay. I'm not a creature of consistency. I still get the job done. When I've FORCED myself to be a marathon writer, my creativity and productivity have both suffered. I'm no longer trying to fit this round peg (ME) into a triangular hole.

So there you have it. I'm a pantsing sprint-writer who researches on the fly and rebels against "rules" when they damage my writing or squash my voice. I no longer allow the opinions of others, or what works for THEM, to put me in chains. Letting go of what others think and the myths and "rules" I found so stifling, following my own creative flow and where God leads me, has opened doors that I never believed possible. Since late October of 2014, I've added short stories to my writing roster. Those have been fun (well, mostly - the Alpha series had its less than pleasant moments because a couple of those stories are truly tragic). I've loved the fact that I've now branched out from Contemporary Romance, Romantic-Suspense, and Women's Fiction fully into Medieval Fantasy AND Urban Fantasy. I never planned on that last one. It just happened. (So much for the one-genre-only "rule" we writers are supposed to follow, but that's a whole other confession....)

Long Time, No Post

I came to the site to update one of the book pages (I'd noticed a mistake and wanted to fix it before I forgot about it), and it hit me how long it's been since I did a blog post. Two months to the day, in fact. Yikes!

Anyway, February was very productive. I started two new stories - one urban fantasy with werewolf main characters (those are SO much fun!) and a novella that's part of the Mysterious Ways series. I also added a good chunk to From the Heavens, also part of the MW series. February also brought the publication of my latest short story series, Alpha - which is continuing to publish, one story per week, through part of this month. The Complete Collection is available in paperback already, done in February.

March ended up being way less productive as I battled the tail end of the winter blahs. I did manage to get the second book in the Otherworlder series (Visions) ready for publication and the third book (Specters) off to my first reader. For April, I've turned my attention to finishing the final book in that series (Destiny). I did the cover in March, but I'm not yet happy with it. When I am, I'll upload it to the medieval fantasy page of this site. Formatting for publication is a "limited brain function" exercise for me, so at least I was able to use the March "creative dead zone" constructively to some degree. *G*

I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, so March and September and I tend not to get along too well. March is definitely the worst. It feels "darkest before the dawn", and my energy, creative flow, and oomph go on vacation for that month without me. Thankfully, I've dealt with that long enough (all of my life) that I know better than to fight the flow. So aside from the writing-related tasks I mentioned above, I vegged in front of the TV and read books I knew I'd enjoy (which means, I re-read books I've already read that are my favorites). Plus, I got a mountain of crocheting done. Two shawls, about 30 dishcloths, 2 large doilies, and the start of a small doll. ... Yeah, I think that covers it. Not bad for about 3 weeks, eh?

Writing for me is like any other art form for many other "artists". It ebbs and flows. Sometimes the creative flow is strong and moves so fast I'm not sure I can keep up. Other times, it moves at an easy-to-follow but rapid pace. Still others, it stops altogether and my mind rests. Until I started tracking my daily writing, I had no idea how consistently this happened. I used to fight it, but I learned that only made things worse.

I'm not one of those writers who can FORCE myself to "write every day" without serious repercussions. When I do that, it makes writing hard, steals the fun from my work, and stifles creativity. If I hadn't been tracking my numbers so closely, I wouldn't have realized how badly doing that crushed my writing spirit. Once I realized what was happening, I stopped.

Now? I go with the flow. I have unproductive days and even weeks, but when it flows, it really goes. I hope to write 500,000 words this year. Totally doable, I've done it before. I'm already at about 110,000 at this point. Behind overall, I know, but I also know I can catch up very quickly when stories flow well.

All writers have hurdles that cut into writing time. Health issues, family, jobs, life's other distractions and demands. Life gets in the way in a variety of ways. We can either learn to work with them or make ourselves crazy trying to fight against them.

What kind of hurdles do you face? Have you learned to work with them, or are you fighting against them?

2013 in Review

Me editing - photo taken by my mom

Do you ever struggle through a year, feeling like it takes Herculean effort to accomplish even the smallest things? I'd bet we've all been there, done that. But, have you reached the end of that year and looked back only to realize you accomplished a lot more than you expected?

2013 was like that for me. The year was difficult in more ways than one. I won't get into why. That would be an entire book. But I will say that I struggled to write in the midst of it all. Editing wasn't too bad, most of the time, but writing was harder than it's ever been. I knew I wouldn't reach the bar I had set in 2012.

For the record, in 2012, I:

1. wrote over 550K words - yes, that's over a half million words;
2. edited over 5K pages of existing material;
3. wrote 3 books from start to finish - 2 novels & 1 novella;
4. completed 2 old projects;
5. made significant additions (5K+) to 1 old project;
6. made minor additions (less than 5K each) to 5 old projects;
7. began 6 new projects; and
8. published a novella.

It was a busy year.

I went into 2013 with 2012 setting the bar, but I didn't have the focus or energy to match. When I realized I wasn't meeting that standard, I got discouraged but powered on, figuring I'd do what I could with the focus, energy, and all that I had. Keep on keeping on.

Then I got a surprise at the end of the year when I tallied everything up. Did my work in 2013 measure up to 2012? No. But....

In 2013, I:

1. wrote over 290K words;
2. edited over 5K pages of existing material;
3. completed 3 old projects;
4. made significant additions (5K+ each) to 7 old projects;
5. made minor additions (less than 5K each) to 2 old projects;
6. began 1 new project; and
7. published 2 full-length novels.

As I sat and looked at that, dumbfounded, I realized something. In a year that felt like it had been nothing but difficulties and struggles, I had still managed to make significant progress in my writing. Something else occurred to me - how much of that would NOT have been accomplished if I'd given up when I realized early in 2013 that I wasn't operating at my normal level? Most of that list.

What 2013 taught me is that, even when I think I'm falling behind, I need to keep moving forward, no matter how slow progress may seem. I may not accomplish what I WANT, but I'll still accomplished more than if I'd quit.

For 2014, I've set what are, for me, very realistic yet challenging goals:

1. Write at least 300K words;
2. Finish 3 incomplete projects; and
3. Publish 3 novels - 2 contemporary, 1 fantasy.

Only time will tell if I can meet those goals.

What about you? Did you meet your expectations last year? Whether yes or no, what did you learn that you've carried into 2014? What goal(s) have you set for 2014?

Through the Valley

I wrote the following post almost a week ago, and let me tell you, folks, it's been a less than stellar week for a lot of people. So many are struggling right now - to varying degrees and as a result of a wide array of circumstances - marriages falling apart; illness, acute and chronic, ranging from just annoying to potentially life-threatening; financial issues due to the state of the economy; hits to medical insurance due to new government regulations; career-impacting computer issues; and so much more. 

Please, folks, pray for each other. Pray for our fellow Christians going through trials you may or may not know about. Lift up family and friends. Pray for the countless lost souls that surround us. Satan and his nasties seem to be working overtime lately to wreck lives and discourage hearts. Support, encourage, and PRAY FOR EACH OTHER through the valleys.

For those of you going through various trials, no matter how big or small, remember the Lord cares about it all. Don't be afraid to ask Him to reveal His unfailing love and presence to you and to give you the strength and grace to endure the trials.

=====================================

Photo courtesy of Red at Morguefile.com

I told our pastor it's just WRONG to give a writing assignment to a congregation when he knows there are writers present. We often can't resist such a challenge (even when we want to). A couple of weeks ago, he gave us "homework" - write a Psalm. Come to God where you are, and write a Psalm.

I've been going through a dark valley, interminable in many ways. Still there. So I thought about some of the Psalms that David wrote - written from a place of pain, struggle, and despair. I got up the following morning knowing what I needed to write. I decided I should go ahead and share it.

A CRY FOR JUSTICE
By Dawn M. Turner

Lord, have You forgotten me?
The smoke clears.
Quiet descends.
I lie broken and bleeding on the field of battle,
Cut down by those who should have been allies.

The wicked prosper and gain strength and numbers.
Their evil deeds go unpunished.
They count themselves righteous
And remain unrepentant.

When will there be justice?
When will the lies be stripped away
And truth revealed?

You promise that evil will be repaid,
That they will reap what they have sown,
That their deeds will not go without reprisal.
When is that time?
When will You say “enough”?

Still, I wait, broken and bleeding.
Still, I cling to You,
Knowing the alternative is darkness,
Loneliness.
I grasp Your promises in my hands,
Praying for the day I fully grasp them in my wounded heart.
I believe, Lord.
Help me in my unbelief.

I allow God to lead my Bible reading (I'm still not back to doing it daily, but I'm working on it). I pray and ask Him what I should read that day. One of the passages He has led me to was one I'd read many times over the years, but it never struck me as it did this time. 

"But as for me, I will watch expectantly for the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me. Do not rejoice over me, O my enemy. Though I fall I will rise; though I dwell in darkness, the LORD is a light for me." - Micah 7:7-8

How's that for a loving reminder from the Father? I love the Old Testament prophets, and it never ceases to amaze me how much encouragement is tucked into those incredible books that so many see only as "doom and gloom".

Now, you may read this and wonder what it has to do with writing (other than the most obvious). This dark valley has dramatically affected my ability to write. I don't mean my DESIRE but my actual ability. Concentration, ideas, all of it have been so far out of whack as to be just about worthless. August, September, and October, I worked on editing and filling in details for the fantasy world I had created for a series of books I'm now back to working on (i.e. pure logic work). Through those three months, I had days where ideas flowed and my brain actually managed to focus, but all-told, I wrote in those three months combined what I generally write in about a week.

November came with ideas flowing again. My concentration still hasn't been on par with where it normally is when I write, but it's way better. I managed to write in 10 days more than I had written through the previous three months. So color me happy. Interesting, the pastor's writing assignment was an answer to prayer. I had been praying about the direction of my NaNovel, a fantasy novel, asking for the Lord's guidance on an element of it that had me a bit stalled. Through the pastor's writing assignment, the answer came. A book Alaina carries is full of "poetry". I'm writing out parts of it that have the most meaning to her. I hadn't written poetry in over 20 years until the pastor's homework assignment.

I continue to learn and grow through the valley, reminded often that God truly hasn't forgotten me. Justice will come. In the meantime, He continues to answer prayer, sometimes in odd and unexpected ways. I continue to try to walk in obedience, despite the darkness.

Have you had prayers answered in unexpected ways of late?

Have you ever tried writing a psalm to the Lord? If not, give it a try. Write from where you are - be it a place of pain and struggle, or joy and praise, or both! David certainly did all three. If you're willing to share what you write, please do so below.

November!

It's nearly November. Two more days.... That means just one thing. NaNoWriMo is right around the corner!

If you haven't experienced the madness of NaNo, you've been missing out. Writing 50,000 words in a month may seem like an insurmountable goal, but I've done it multiple times - and not just during NaNo. Whether it'll work for you or not? How will you know unless you try? ;-)

I'm not as ready mentally as I have been in the past, but I'm hoping my brain will cooperate come November 1st. This year, I'll be working on a fantasy novel. That's a sizable shift for me, but all my background materials are ready. Mostly. The fantasy world creation is pretty well done - what I need for this novel anyway - with the exception of the map I need to complete. Knowing me and my extreme pantser style, I'll probably do that map as I go. Hey, it's what I do. he he

The most fun little piece I created for this novel? An insect that chirps through parts of winter - the snow doesn't put them off a bit. In fact, it's part of their life cycle. Of course, most of the details I put into it won't be used in the book, but it sure has been fun to create those little guys.

Anyway, now's the time to set your eyes on that 50K goal for November. Get those fingers limbered up and your writing software booted up (I use WriteWayPro). No time for procrastination!

Are you doing NaNo this year? If so, what are you planning to work on? Are you ready to hit the ground running on the 1st? Or are you in panic mode like so many, scrambling to get ready?

Answers Come....

Photo courtesy of taliesin of morguefile.com

I often have people ask me (or see/hear them ask others) what they're supposed to do with their writing, or some aspect of it, or some other task. My answer is always the same - PRAY ABOUT IT.

God knows exactly what HE desires for you, your life, and your work, and He won't hide His will from you. SO ASK HIM! And don't be afraid to ask others to be praying with and for you as you seek guidance and direction from the Lord.

Sometimes an answer comes right away, within minutes or hours. Other times, a response is much longer in coming - days, weeks, months, and even years. Needless to say, that takes patience and perseverance, or we risk jumping ahead of God and His timing.

I just had one such instance in my own life - something I've prayed about for the past couple of years. I had shelved an entire part of my writing when I started praying, not wanting anything I put out into the world to be contrary to God's will for my writing. My gifts, talents, and such are His, not mine, and I didn't want to get ahead of God and do things in a way that might "seem right" to me. I don't need that kind of disaster in my life, thank you very much. (Prov. 14:12 & 16:25 are warning enough for me.)

A few weeks ago, He finally gave me the answer I've been asking for for so long. And the ideas THAT has generated have been wild and numerous. More inspiration than I ever imagined possible, and it all fits so beautifully.

God not only answers our questions, He does so in HIS time, not ours. So we must be patient and wait for His time for providing the answer we seek. BUT, we first must ask them. Too often, we don't even think to ask.

So ask! And be prepared to take a step or two or more in obedience when the answer comes. It may not be what you expect, or possibly even the path you believe you WANT, but be obedient. What the Lord provides is WAY better than anything you might imagine.

Is there some decision or need for direction that you've struggled with that you need to lay at the Lord's feet?

Inspiration

Photo courtesty of
dhester of morgufile.com

I often run across the question - in books/articles, during online interactions, and when talking to people face-to-face - "Where do you get your inspiration?" Loaded question, and I'm pretty sure most people think the answer is simple. It's not. Inspiration for story ideas comes from a variety of places for me.

Music is a biggy. (It MUST have lyrics - instrumental music is emotionally meaningless to me - my brain translates it directly into math.) Sometimes a single line out of a song will trigger a "What if...?" and that's all it takes to have me chasing a rabbit trail, particularly when I'm driving and don't have a computer or TV in front of me to distract my thoughts. This happened last week actually. Those who know me know my love for country music. Even the sad, sorrowful songs so many like to talk down about. There are times I almost live with my MP3 player permanently attached to me.

Thinking about one such hang-dog song this past week as I listened to it, I thought "What if God got hold of them? How different would the outcome be?" Oh, cool idea! Two songs that immediately followed cemented the idea because lines in those songs meshed with the idea I had percolating. A variety of scenes flitted through my head.

At times, it's something I deal with directly in my own life that sparks a creative run. I've got two books that pop immediately to mind spawned by such things. I call them my "Christians behaving badly" stories because the events that inspired them were due to exactly that. Christians acting in ways they should NOT act and harming those around them. Often people's lives inspire me - sometimes as a warning of how NOT to be and what the consequences can be of such behavior, words, and attitudes.

Conversations, or rather pieces of conversations, that I overhear can be fun and often inspire scene ideas. They give me insight into the quirky workings of other people's minds. And people watching goes right along with that. Human beings are very odd creatures if you really watch them. They sure can be fun to observe. You can learn a great deal about human nature just by exercising the art of observation.

Sometimes I read about something in the news, and that will trigger a similar thought. I have to admit, though, that's pretty rare. In fact, I can't even think of any of those off the top of my head. I'm sure I could come up with one if I really thought about it.

Now, if only inspiration for blog posts came so easily.  LOL

If you're a writer, what sorts of things inspire you?

Fear and the Writer - Part 2

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Last week, I talked about fear. For those of you who missed that post, you can see it here.

The question - in six words or less, what do you most fear as a writer?

So what was my "off the cuff" but uncomfortably accurate response to that question?

Revealing my heart.

Talk about scary, particularly for an introvert who had learned at a very young age that revealing your heart meant showing vulnerability, which was like blood in the water in a society where I'm surrounded by sharks (people who will prey on that weakness). Attention can be good, bad, or indifferent - I've known that my whole life. But showing vulnerability? Only stupid people who didn't value their lives did such things.

Thankfully, God doesn't give up on those of us who an evil, fallen world has taught to hide behind walls as high and thick as a European keep. He gently, with love and persistence, leads and teaches until the walls come down. Because He knows something VERY important....

How effective can we be as writers if we don't do reveal our hearts, bare our souls, expose our inner thoughts and emotions to a potentially hostile world? Whether we do so in blogs or other non-fiction works, or we expose our hearts through fictional characters and their stories, we put a piece of ourselves into everything we write. And readers can generally tell when that element is missing.

It's taken a LONG time to learn to share my emotions, imperfections, fears, and deeper thoughts with others. A very long, arduous, often painful process. Through it, I've learned two things:

1 - God doesn't want me to live in fear, closed off to those my life touches, unable to reach out to others who may be struggling in the same way I have. He wants us to step out in faith in HIM and not allow fear and the evil in this world to take us hostage and cripple us emotionally and spiritually.

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For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. - 2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV)
 
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear. - 1 John 4:18a (NASB)

The Lord is for me; I will not fear; what can man do to me? - Psalm 118:6 (NASB)


2 - When others act like "sharks" and try to prey upon me when I open my heart to them, IT'S NOT ABOUT ME. No pity party or wallowing allowed. Let it go. It's about THEM. It's a reflection of just how miserable they are in their own lives, and if I really watch, I'll see they tend to treat others the same way they've treated me. Their words and actions should NOT cause me to close myself off to the world again. To do so gives their negativity, hatefulness, etc. power over my life that those things don't deserve to have. More than anything, such behavior demands prayer for them.

But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. - Luke 6:27-28 (NASB)

I think most believers understand how these apply to our daily lives and dealings with people. But how do they apply to us specifically as writers?

One, negative reviews on published books. If we haven't (yet) received them on our own work, we've all at least seen scathing reviews written by those who just like to tear others to shreds (if you look at other reviews they've done, you can readily identify these individuals - they never seem to have a nice thing to say about anybody) or hate someone's work simply because it reflects Christ (even if they've never actually read the book, interestingly enough).

Should we let such reviews make us change what we write because we shudder in fear of receiving more such comments? Absolutely not! We should seek to please God first and foremost, above every person out there. If people don't like that, well, that's their problem, quite frankly. We're not to be conformed to this world. (Romans 12:2)

I'm not saying we should be sloppy in our work or disregard actually-constructive criticism, but that's a whole different ballgame from letting fear drive us to write other than as God desires us to.

Two, the writing itself. If we truly want to touch readers, we MUST be willing to share our hearts and souls with them. And, yeah, I know this isn't easy. Boy, howdy, do I know. This is my biggest struggle. Each layer of emotional depth we put into our work is that much more of us we're letting the world see in some way or another. That's not easy. But the Lord doesn't call us to reach out to others only when it's emotionally "safe" or we simply can't keep ourselves bottled up, so we should approach our writing the same way - with an open heart obedient to His leading.

I know my struggle is not the same as what others face. Some cling to fear of not finding an agent/publisher/editor for their book, not getting the cover design quite right, not getting a back cover blurb exactly right, the book not selling, knowing what promotional tools and techniques to utilize, and a slew of other things along those lines. God has all of that well in hand. Does He expect us to do work to get it all accomplished? You bet! But He's already handpicked the agent/publisher/editor for each author's work. (He also knows whether He wants your work to be traditionally or indie published, too - just ask Him.) He knows whose hands need to receive a particular book. He can and DOES provide guidance regarding cover designs, back cover blurbs, and/or promotion options.

He knows what He desires for the outcome of a given work. If we ask, He WILL lead us down the right path, to the right people, and put our books into the hands He desires if we seek His will.

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. - James 1:5 (NASB)

That's a tremendous comfort to me. He asks me to take steps of faith, do some work with regards to editing, book cover design, back cover blurbs, and promotion as He guides me. He takes it the rest of the way. But for me it all begins with a mighty step of faith in revealing my heart in the act of obedience - the writing itself.

What fear do you find yourself struggling most with in regards to your writing? What verses have you found that help you stand against it?

Fear and the Writer - Part 1

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You know, when you really think about it, it's funny some of the things we fear. We human beings have such a wide array of fears as individuals, my Roget's thesaurus contains an entire list of individual "phobias" that is, I'm quite serious, pages long. And it's not even a complete list of all of them, which is probably the scariest thing of all.

There's everything from the range of routine and common, such as:

Acrophobia/altophobia/batophobia/hypsophobia - heights
Agoraphobia - open places
Arachnophobia - spiders
Belonephobia - needles
Ophiciophobia/ophiophobia - snakes
And, of course, a list especially for the various types of germ-phobes out there.

Then there are the less common ones, such as:

Aulophobia - flutes
Baruphobia - gravity
Chromophobia - color
Linonophobia - string
Neophobia - new things

And the list goes on and on. Oddly enough, public speaking (glossophobia) isn't on the list. Clowns (coulrophobia) didn't make Roget's list either; yet that's a common phobia as well. (I've never liked clowns myself, but since I figured out what exactly weirded me out about them they no longer have the power to fill me with fear or cause nightmares like they did when I was a kid. I still don't like them though.)

You could probably look down Roget's long and varied list (or another one) and laugh at some that seem truly bizarre or identify with others to one degree or another. Having had a string of phobias throughout my life that God, through His power and grace, has helped me overcome, I can understand a lot of the ones that might otherwise have struck me as silly. Some of them, I honestly still don't get.

The phobia list hits home, though, when you reach the emotional ones - fear of rejection, imperfection, being alone, and/or failure. How many of us haven't experienced those?

One of the writing organizations I'm connected to on Facebook posed the question recently - In six words or less, what do you most fear as a writer? You know how they say that generally the first thing that pops to mind when you are asked a question is the REAL answer. Yeah, well, I had one of those moments. Others posted about facing or not meeting deadlines, not finishing their book, not finding an agent/publisher. Mine was more internal than that. It came right off the top of my head and actually caught me by surprise. Then I realized it was bulls-eye accurate.

Check out next week's post to find out what my response was and what thoughts it triggered.

In the meantime, how would YOU answer that question? What do YOU fear most as a writer?

On a more fun note - have you ever looked at a list of phobias as a way of generating ideas for characters and/or stories?

Rules, Rules, and... More Rules?

Photo courtesy of wallyir of morguefile.com

I’ve been keeping track of the “rules” of writing as shared in various places online where I lurk or participate. Interestingly, more often than not (much to my dismay), these “rules” are applied in sweeping, legalistic, and extreme fashion. Guidelines intended to strengthen writing by LIMITING certain words and phrases are shoved down people’s throats as something entirely different. And just to make it all the more fun, the rules seem to change, without warning.

Until I learned to put these "rules" in their proper place and perspective, they felt like an ever-tightening chain that became heavier every day, threatening to snuff the life right out of my writing.

Here are some of the ones I’ve seen pushed using the extreme application I so often see:

1. No adverbs. (This appears to be many people’s favorite witch-hunt. Adverbs are apparently truly evil, doncha know? - And, yes, I did that double-adverb on purpose. *G*)
2. No -ing words. (Regardless of the fact that some NOUNS and ADJECTIVES are very valuable -ing words.)
3. No -ed words. (Yep, I’ve run into that one, too, believe it or not! Just try to write in past tense without them. I dare you.)
4. No dialogue tags (he said, she said, and any variations on "said" that you can think of). (Use beats only.)
5. Don’t use a name to start a paragraph. (You don’t want to start every paragraph with a name, but come on!)
6. No weasel words - just, as, seem, was, that, were, to be, really, often, usually, like, well, might, very, rather, began, started, some, suddenly, immediately, decided, wondered, thought, once, some, most, many, a lot, a few, more, a little, a bit, nearly, almost, quite, rather, anyway, even, knew, felt, would/could/should, up/down/back, is, are, had, have been - to name but a few (he he). There are more and the list is ever-growing as people decide one word or another is evil - depends on the source you check.
7. Don’t start a sentence with or, and, or but. And to go along with THAT rule...
8. Use only complete, grammatically correct sentences, no fragments.
9. No italics.
10. Show, don't tell. (Regardless of which works best for a given spot? Please. Sometimes, telling is a good thing. Sometimes, it's not.)
11. Never begin two or more sentences in a row with the same word or phrase.

Amazingly enough, I’ve also seen “no adjectives” pop up a time or two. What’s to be deemed evil next? Nouns? Pronouns? *sigh*

The only place any of these rules can (usually) be broken is in dialogue. (I say “usually” because I’ve even run up against the occasional individual who insists breaking some of these rules makes for “weak” dialogue, too.) The only exception being the use of “alright” in lieu of “all right”. The former is NEVER acceptable, even in dialogue, and just might get you shot. Well, maybe not anything that extreme (at least not that I’ve heard about so far), but it may get you declared a hack amateur by those who fret over such things. Apparently, it doesn’t matter how widely accepted it is, even by some publishers or dictionaries, there are some who just hold a disdain for this word. Some authors avoid criticism simply by never using either "alright" or "all right", period. People fret over the oddest things sometimes.

Anyway, here’s a writing exercise for those of you who are off-center like me. Take a scene you’ve written (copy to a new document, of course - do NOT use your original) and apply all of these rules as strictly as they are often pushed. See what you end up with.

If you are REALLY whacked and LOVE a challenge, try it with an entire chapter.  he he 

Am I saying we should blow off the “rules”? No. You DO need to know the “rules” of writing. They can help you write stronger and better. BUT keep them in proper perspective and apply them with common sense, reason, and balance. Recognize that they are guidelines, not absolute rules never to be broken lest you be burned at the stake, or at least blackballed by the entire publishing industry.

Don't let the "rules" snuff the life out of your writing, or your JOY in writing. Throw off the chains of writing-rules-legalism and write to your heart's content!

Photo courtesy of matthew_hull @ morguefile.com

So, what about YOU? Have you ever found yourself stifled by any of the above rules being shoved down your throat in their extreme forms? Have you been confronted with "rules" that aren't listed above? If so, please share!

BTW - to see the winner of the free autographed copy of my latest book, PROMISES, check out the comments on the Home blog post.
 

Home

Photo courtesy of
taliesin of morguefile.com

For me, "home" isn't necessarily about a location, though it's nice to have roots. Home is the people. Maybe this is a result of the fact we moved so much when I was a kid. My family was the only stable thing in my life during those years. No matter where I was or for how long or short a time, my family was there.

For my novel Promises, releasing this month, the main character is seeking a place to which she can belong, though she doesn't really know what that's supposed to look like. Having lost her parents at a young age, then spending years bounced around in foster care, adopted by a wonderful man then losing him too soon, Terry has had a lot of upheaval in her life. No roots. No peace. No security for more than a moment in time. Not allowing herself to get too close to people.

And when she did have a place to belong with people who loved her, she didn't recognize it as home and left it behind. At the deepest root of her discontent is the lack of a relationship with the Lord who created her. She walked away from Him in her teens, believing He had abandoned her just when she needed Him most. That affects the relationships she has with others.

In so many ways, Terry's search for "home" is rather reminiscent of how we all are. How often do we seek something, only to not recognize it when it comes our way because it doesn't necessarily look or feel the way we expect it to? So we abandon or reject it and move on, continuing on lost and discontent. How often is that thing we truly need the God who loves us and can make us whole? Thankfully, we're often brought full-circle back to what we overlooked. We can only hope we recognize it the second time around.

For a chance to win a copy of my new novel, Promises , leave a comment sharing what the word "home" means to you. Be sure to include a current e-mail address in case you win! The winner will have the choice of either an e-book (of whatever format you'd like from Smashwords) or an autographed paperback copy (either standard or large print). Entries will be accepted until my next blog post at 8:00 am Arizona time, Saturday, February 23, 2013. Entries will be numbered and the winner chosen by Random.org.

If you'd like a chance to win other great prizes from some of my fellow writers, check out the links below for the Candle Light Reads "Home Is Where The Heart Is Hop"! This contest runs from the 15th-18th.

Where's Your "Wall"?

Photo courtesy of ccmackay
@ morguefile.com

No, I'm not talking about your Facebook wall.  *G*

We writers all have a "wall". I was talking recently to another writer about it. She compared writing to running a long distance marathon. At some point, when running (or even walking), you hit a wall, that point where you just KNOW you can't go any further. You need to quit.

Photo courtesy of click
@ morguefile.com

The "wall" in writing is, as I've discovered, that certain word count or range we have to reach before we can finally get our minds into the writing groove and things flow the way they should. And it's seldom child's play. Sometimes the story helps. Sometimes it gets stubborn and pushes back.

My "wall" is right around 1,500 words. Sometimes I'll get a few hundred words in, or even 1,200 or 1,300 words in, and think "That's it. I'm done. I can't go any further. I just don't have what it takes." Just like a marathon runner. BUT, just like a marathon runner, if I can keep going, push past that wall of "I'm done", I get a second wind, get into the rhythm and flow of the story, and I can generally go for hundreds or even thousands of words without stopping.

Sometimes, getting TO that 1,500 word point is a special form of torture. I eke them out a half dozen words at a time, maybe one or two hundred at a time if I'm lucky. But they come slow. If I quit before I reach that 1,500, it can be hours or even days or weeks before I pick up my writing again due to discouragement or simple lack of "inspiration." If I discipline myself to plant my butt in my chair and push the words until I reach that point, the flow suddenly breaks free and the story generally writes itself.

"But pushing makes for stilted writing," you may say? Well, yes, it often does. But who publishes their first draft anyway? All of us writers edit what we write. We all have to refine and deepen our stories beyond what we get with the first draft. So anything that's stilted can be remedied then. So the problem with the first draft having stilted sections is what exactly? (Take a hike, perfectionism.)

The benefit to pushing through the wall?  I have 1,500 words I wouldn't have had before, plus whatever comes afterwards that flows so nice and easy. And I don't allow the fact I'm sick, tired or simply not inspired to stop my writing in it's tracks. This is how I can have a good day with over 7,500 words written. If I let the wall win, I'm lucky to have 1,000.

There's one fact to writing. Writers write. We write when we're well, sick, happy, sad, wide awake, tired, inspired or totally uninspired. We write. Period.

(By the way, for those who are curious after my post from last week - I did finish my NaNovel on the morning of the 24th with just over 80K words written in November. I decided not to stop there since I'd set aside November to write and started a new novel the evening of the 24th. I certainly didn't have time in November to finish it, but I made some wonderful progress on it.)

So where's your "wall"? And how often do you let it win? Have you found any tactics, like many marathon runners seem to, that help you push past it? (Thanks again, Terri, for the perfect analogy!)