God's Detour, Part 2 - The Immediate Return

Photo courtesy of my furkid, Harika, who seems to
be able to get comfortable ANYWHERE. ;-)

"...for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am." - Philippians 4:11b

I wrote yesterday about the epiphany I had about 3 weeks ago (as of the moment I'm actually writing this post).

As a result of that flash of life-jarring insight, I decided that things WOULD change. Not someone else. Not the circumstances of my life. ME. My heart and way of thinking. I wouldn't let resentment have a part in my life anymore. I would enjoy the time I had with family and friends, so I can look back with peace instead of regret.

The rewards for this attitude change were immediate. I visited with family who had come to see us without being distracted by discontentment or thoughts about the book I "should" be trying to finish that "really needs to get done".

After that, I ended up going out of town with my mom to spend the weekend with even more family (an opportunity I almost passed up). Despite a few annoyances (such as what resulted in my back injury), I wouldn't trade that time for anything. Two major, special things came out of that weekend. One is too personal to share. The other?

I got to see my oldest nephew perform in an opera at his university. It was the first time I'd ever seen him perform, and it was WONDERFUL. It was the first time my mom had seen him perform since he'd graduated from high school. I thought for sure she was going to cry. If she had, I'd have been right there with her, probably both of us embarrassing my sister, who isn't a crier. Thankfully, she held it together, so I did, too.

If I had it to do over again, I wouldn't change a thing. Despite my back.

Funny thing about the back injury. If it had happened even a week prior, I would've been seriously ticked off about yet another disruption in my life. Especially after receiving the news that I have months of recovery ahead of me. I never expected to be using a walker at only 48 years of age, but as it happened, I've had peace and maintained my sense of humor, despite pain and serious limitations.

(Though, I have to admit I temporarily lost my sense of humor after a sourpuss, impatient lady at the store hit me with her shopping cart because I didn't get out of her way fast enough. She scowled at me like it was my fault and didn't even apologize for the pain she'd caused that nearly buckled my knees. How rude!)

My body's healing with fabulous help from my chiropractor and our naturopathic physician, and I'm remaining content, purposing NOT to allow my current dependence on others or curtailed routine/life to dampen my spirits or cause me to lash out. The timing on my epiphany was perfect, and the peace it brought is already overflowing into other areas of my life, as is generally the case when God shines light on issues like that.

What does all of this mean for my writing though? Watch for my next post to find out.

God's Detour, Part 1 - The Epiphany

Photo courtesy of "johnlindsay" of morguefile.com

"The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." - Proverbs 16:9

I've meant to post for a couple of weeks now but have been unable to sit at my computer due to a bad back injury. Timing is everything, and sometimes God sends us on a detour for reasons we can't always fathom. At least, not at first.

It started with an epiphany....

For the past couple of years, I've struggled with increasing frustration over the fact I can't concentrate to write like I used to. Too many interruptions and disruptions, and I was beginning to resent those who have been the cause of those distractions.

Also, I struggled under a heavy burden of doubt and grief. Maybe I'd just been kidding myself to think God wanted me to write. Then again, maybe not, but He'd removed that calling. Had I failed to do it to His specifications? Displeased Him somehow? On top of a LOT of unanswered prayers, was that further proof that He had gotten so disgusted with me for some reason that He'd abandoned me? That He no longer had use for me?

Yeah, I know. Satan had a real field day with me.

About 3 weeks ago, I was talking to one of my sisters about something totally unrelated (or so I thought) when something I'd said years ago to a couple of other writers came up. They had been lamenting the fact they couldn't find time to write because of the time- and energy-consuming demands of small children, in addition to having a husband and house to take care of. In one case, there was also a part-time job involved. I always have the same advice for writers in that situation, and it can be summed up as follows:

The writing will always be there. The children won't. They'll grow up and leave home. Enjoy them while you can, so you won't look back at these years with regret.

As I shared this with my sister, it suddenly clicked in my brain. (I'm slow sometimes, but I buy a clue eventually.) That advice applies just as much to my own life right now. Not because of small children or a job outside the home (the latter of which prevented me from writing for years). Family and friends matter just as much though.

Gotta love it when the Lord throws my own words back in my face, even years later.

I can't tell you how often over the years I've talked to someone who has lost someone they love and carry a heap of regret and sorrow over time they wish they'd spent with that person, things that were never said, and opportunities to spend time together passed over due to other things taking priority.

I don't want to be that person. I don't want to look back on this time in my life with regret because I made something more important than the people I care about.

I resolved that very moment for things to change. For my heart attitude to change. I pondered this quietly for a few days, praying about it, before sharing it with anyone else, wrapping my head and heart around all the implications and ramifications of this MAJOR (for me anyway) priority shift.

God has detoured me. He hasn't forgotten, dismissed, or abandoned me. He has simply revealed that He wants me to diverge onto a different path for now. Take the scenic route, if you will. Until it's time to return to the main road. What the purpose of it is remains to be seen, but it should be interesting.

The benefits of accepting that made themselves known almost instantly. Catch my next post to see how.

What about you? Has the Lord ever used your own words to direct you?

Love and Time

Photo courtesy of sullivan

My husband and I met and married in 1993. From our first date to the wedding was 3 months. Some thought we were doomed because we hadn't dated each other for months or years. Here we are 20 years later (as of this past week), loving each other more every day, and STILL learning about each other.

So much for the naysayers.

And, you know, it amazes me sometimes how much I'm still learning about my dear hubby after all these years. It seems like no matter how long you know someone, or how well you THINK you know them, there's still so much to learn, so many revelations to be had.

That's something that Missy and Aaron discover in my latest book, Truth, which released in June. They've know each other their entire lives. Grew up next door to each other, their families so close as to be blended into one family in many ways.

Though Aaron has spent the better part of the years teasing Missy mercilessly at every opportunity, the one time he hurt her feelings, he felt horrible and apologized. A teenage crush turned into more, but she kept that fact to herself. Aaron is five years her senior, and he couldn't possibly be interested in her. As she puts it:

Maybe if he hadn’t known her from birth and seen her go through the Play-Doh-eating phase at three, a paste-eating period at five, braces at fourteen, and acne at sixteen, he’d be able to take her seriously as a grown woman.

Aaron has adored Missy as his best friend for several years, and he's yearned for more. But she seems set on seeing him as nothing more than the "big brother" and friend who grew up next door. Then she gets engaged to another man and life takes an unexpected turn.

How did the characters in your latest book meet? What attracts them to each other? What is keeping them apart? Feel free to answer those questions and share the link to your latest book in your comment on this blog.

By the way, if you would like to read chapter 1 of Truth, you can find it HERE.

Life Interrupted

Photo courtesy of Melodi2 at morguefile.com

It seems like, just when life is on a smooth track and you can get so much done, it suddenly gets interrupted by things beyond your control. At least, that's how I feel lately.

The full heat of the Arizona summer is upon us, so working outdoors is out of question. Even working inside can be hard as the room we're currently hitting has no heat or cooling. Ugh. So work on our house has slowed to a crawl. At least it's still easing forward, even if very slowly.

I've been too distracted to write lately. Through the first week of June, I haven't had much success sitting down to edit either. Even as I'm preparing for the release of my third book, I can't seem to maintain my momentum. I'm spending a lot of time in prayer and contemplation instead, as well as seeking the stillness of mind that comes with crocheting (working on a couple of large projects). Sometimes I escape into old TV show re-runs on Netflix, something I can do while crocheting.

With many of life's difficulties, I find writing to be a good escape, or therapy to work through the emotional struggles that come with so many situations. But this time, one of my aunts lies dying in hospice from metastatic cancer. I've waited to receive the call any moment of each day for the last several days to tell me that she's gone. Still I wait, and she continues to slip away in painful fashion.

None of this is unexpected, but that doesn't make the reality any less difficult in some ways. I pray for the Lord to show mercy and take her quickly to end the suffering. I pray for her children and grandchildren to be ready in their hearts for her inevitable death. Some of them are believers, some aren't. I pray for my grandmother as she watches one of her children die. She's already lost two children, as well as a grandchild. Now she's losing a third. It's taken a toll.

In the last few days, I've also dealt with the loss of a beloved pet. Salt in an already raw wound of sorrow.

Life gets interrupted. By life. It really is that simple. I take comfort in knowing none of it catches God by surprise, even on the occasions it totally blindsides us. He saw it all coming. He knew the pain I and others would feel. He prepared our hearts to reach this moment in time. I wrap myself in the knowledge that He promises comfort to those who mourn (Matt. 5:4), so there's no shame in grieving the losses that come with life in a fallen, sinful world.

And as always, life will go on. Time doesn't stop under the weight of loss. It marches step-by-step ever forward. And thus it will do until God brings an end to this world and all its sufferings. Times like now, I crave that time. No more illness. No more death. No more sorrow.

And He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there shall no longer be any death; here shall no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away. - Rev. 21:4

But that time is not here yet. So I keep moving forward with life, walking the path God has laid before me (or at least trying to), performing the tasks He has for me, giving thanks for His loving, faithful presence through all of life's difficulties.

Lord, help me hold to the narrow way and perform the tasks You've assigned to me. Help me hold true to You, no matter what. Amen.

Home

Photo courtesy of
taliesin of morguefile.com

For me, "home" isn't necessarily about a location, though it's nice to have roots. Home is the people. Maybe this is a result of the fact we moved so much when I was a kid. My family was the only stable thing in my life during those years. No matter where I was or for how long or short a time, my family was there.

For my novel Promises, releasing this month, the main character is seeking a place to which she can belong, though she doesn't really know what that's supposed to look like. Having lost her parents at a young age, then spending years bounced around in foster care, adopted by a wonderful man then losing him too soon, Terry has had a lot of upheaval in her life. No roots. No peace. No security for more than a moment in time. Not allowing herself to get too close to people.

And when she did have a place to belong with people who loved her, she didn't recognize it as home and left it behind. At the deepest root of her discontent is the lack of a relationship with the Lord who created her. She walked away from Him in her teens, believing He had abandoned her just when she needed Him most. That affects the relationships she has with others.

In so many ways, Terry's search for "home" is rather reminiscent of how we all are. How often do we seek something, only to not recognize it when it comes our way because it doesn't necessarily look or feel the way we expect it to? So we abandon or reject it and move on, continuing on lost and discontent. How often is that thing we truly need the God who loves us and can make us whole? Thankfully, we're often brought full-circle back to what we overlooked. We can only hope we recognize it the second time around.

For a chance to win a copy of my new novel, Promises , leave a comment sharing what the word "home" means to you. Be sure to include a current e-mail address in case you win! The winner will have the choice of either an e-book (of whatever format you'd like from Smashwords) or an autographed paperback copy (either standard or large print). Entries will be accepted until my next blog post at 8:00 am Arizona time, Saturday, February 23, 2013. Entries will be numbered and the winner chosen by Random.org.

If you'd like a chance to win other great prizes from some of my fellow writers, check out the links below for the Candle Light Reads "Home Is Where The Heart Is Hop"! This contest runs from the 15th-18th.